Maggie West

Artwork, Friends, and Readers

I am fortunate enough to have readers that are also my friends.

Some of these friends crossed my path due to my writing. And have walked by my side ever since. Others were with me before it all began. The fact that they continue to support my endeavors and remain my friends creates a very special life for me. One of the latter is Cindy Bennett.

Cindy came into my life by way of my best friend -- Gina Marie -- and I have been enriched by her presence, since the day we met. I have grown as a person and as a friend in the shadow of these two women.

Cindy and her husband, Steven, own Metropolitan Galleries in High Point, North Carolina. Steven spends most of the year overseas drumming up business of their venture. That leaves Cindy to watch the "store." Together, they have built a small empire of their very own.

I was informed that her product is now being sold on another website (other than Metro's site).

Some of my readers may enjoy one or two peeks at a few of the exceptional products they produce. So, go to Ultimate Artworks' website and wander around a bit. One won't be dissappointed. I never am when viewing the new additions to each year's line.

I have placed a permanent link on my sidebar.

Good luck, Cindy. I love you.

The Effects Of Vodka & Two Ladies

As luck would have it, I ran into two of the most adorable creatures yesterday. I could get into how much they brightened my day – but then – I’d have to include the “Bloody Mary” and “Vodka and Cranberry” effects we all experienced.

I am mentioning this to my readers, mainly because, they both happen to be very “spirited” entrepreneurs. I just love small business owners with heart; these two ladies have very big hearts.

Nancie owns a little shop in Troutman, North Carolina just outside Statesville.

Tammy owns a personal chef business (how frickin’ cool is that?).

Please take the time to visit their websites which are located on the sidebar of my website: "A Touch Of Spice" and "Cobb's Cottage". And if they can help you in anyway with their wares – I know they will.

Thank you both for turning what might have been a very dull and boring day into a wondrous event.

And welcome to my site!

Who Says A Trucker's Life Is Boring?

This gentleman came to my website via MySpace – the understated trickle effect at work. His presence on both my sites have been particularly refreshing and enlightening.

We read each other’s posts and leave not-so-modest opinions on each one. It seems that getting to the point is not a problem for either one of us.

Here is one of my favorite comments from Trailmaster. It is in response to my Redneck blog located in the “Bean Pods” category.

“Do yourself a favor; use a mental image instead of a picture on the punching bag. The redhead [his wife] says marrying a redneck will require more money than you will want to spend in pictures. Or else let me know which print shop to buy stock in.

She sends her sympathies for all the mental strain you will have to deal with for as long as you're with him. My wife also wants you to know, you will never regret one moment of it. She ought to know, she's been married to one for sixteen years yesterday. And I don't know why, but she still loves me. She says since you mention a pickup, you are probably already well on your way to becoming a redneck woman. The next step is a four-wheel drive. My wife says the advantage to a trailer is the soft aluminum sides won’t break your fist when you wear out the punching bag, as long as you don’t hit the outside wall where the studs are.

I think you will like the lifestyle, it seems to be agreeing with the redneck.”

Now for a little peek at one of Trailmaster’s posts (his website link is located on my sidebar – for those of you who are interested).

~ Denny ~

Denny parked his truck in the very last row of the parking lot at a Super WalMart. After taking just five steps toward the front door, a security guard came racing over in his little white pickup flashing its not-too-particularly-ominous yellow lights and said, “You can't park your 18 wheeler here.” Denny explained, “I just need a gallon of oil,” but to no avail. “You'll have to park across the street and walk over,” the rent a cop retorted.

After relocating his truck to the lot across the street, he walked almost 1/4 mile back to the store. Upon entering, he realized reaching the automotive section would require nearly the same hike. Taking a shortcut through the “ladies wear” section, he heard a female voice call out, “Excuse me, sir.”

His immediate thought was “Sir? Do I look that old?” Turning around he saw three young ladies, none of whom seemed old enough to drive, and decided that the thirty-eight year old in front of them did appear – uh, a little – older. While pointing at the young woman in the center of the group, the girl on the left said, “We need an opinion. Do you think she looks good enough in this to seduce a man?” The fifteen or sixteen year old figure before him was wearing, what amounted to, a sports bra covered in rhinestones and chrome beads, a pair of jeans hemmed up about 2 inches below her knees, with the belt line so low it showed “ass crack,” and hot-pink-high-heel sandals.

Denny stood there dumbfounded, when the schoolgirl on the right asked, "Well?" To which he replied the first thing that came to mind, “I suppose if she does seduce a man in that outfit, he will probably go to jail for it.”

That obviously wasn't what they wanted to hear. Immediately, the look on their faces turned from giddy and playful to a cross between horror and disgust. They turned and stomped off in a highly offended huff.

After getting the oil, Denny was grumbling to himself, “Kids these days, I don't know about them. If they wore any less, they might as well not wear anything at all. And no responsibility, just ride around in those trashed out cars that ought to be condemned from the road, blaring music that sounds like cannibals dancing around the fire. I just don't know what the world is coming to.”

While standing in the checkout line, it dawned on Denny that he sounded just like his dad did, back in 1985.

Sick Trucker Chip

It’s been a while since I’ve added someone to the “Meet My Readers” category on this website. This next individual reminds me of a surprise package being pulled out the closet at the last minute – remember how that felt when you were kid? All the gifts were opened, nothing really worth jumping up and down about, downtrodden look upon your face…

Then out comes the big box with your name written all over it.

You’ve already read quite a bit on my website…
Surely, nothing could surprise you…

Right?

Wrong.

Meet the man who might change your views on “living” a little.  A paltry existence – I think not.

I give you Sick Trucker Chip:

“I guess my interests are weirdly eclectic. I like dirty movies, gross lowbrow humor, guns, well told lies, seeing the world, and great storytellers. I love my wife, hate her rotten kids, but not on a visceral level, more on the level of a mild irritant. Kind of like an itch between the butt crack in polite company.

I think that organized religion is folly of those who prefer to have their values dictated to them rather than develop values of their own.

I like Harleys, fake breasts, Italian food, small dogs, history, freaks (mostly if they don’t agree with me), anyone who has ‘ been there, done that’ and has the scars to prove it.”

The man also posts his own blogs on MySpace. Want to see one? Good – ‘cause you have no choice in the matter.

Joanne Webb, a former fifth-grade teacher and mother of three, was in a county court in Cleburne, Texas, on Monday to answer obscenity charges for selling the vibrator to undercover narcotics officers posing as a dysfunctional married couple in search of a sex aid.

Webb, a saleswoman for Passion Parties of Brisbane, faces a year in jail and a $4,000 fine if convicted.

"What I did was not obscene,'' Webb said. ""What's obscene is that the government is taking action about what we do in our bedrooms.''

The arrest of Webb in Cleburne, a small town 50 miles southwest of Dallas, was the first time that any of the company's 3,000 sales consultants have been busted, said Pat Davis, the president of Passion Parties. She said the company was outraged by the charges and stood behind Webb.

"It makes you wonder what they're thinking out there in Texas,'' Davis said. "They sound like prudes, with antiquated laws. They must have all their street crime under control in Texas if they're going to spend tax money arresting us.''

For the past year, Webb has sold the company's line of vibrators, gels, lubricants, strawberry-flavored nipple cream and "edible passion puddings.'' The merchandise is offered for sale in private, Tupperware-style parties to women who may be reluctant to visit an adult novelty store.

Among the company's top items are a $12 jar of passion pudding in chocolate and strawberry flavors ("apply head to toe, wherever you want your lover to linger"), a $9 jar of nipple cream in strawberry, raspberry and watermelon flavors, and battery-powered vibrators that sell for $17 to $140. The company also offers such lubricants as Slippery Stuff ($13), Lickety Lube ($12) and Lucky Stiff ($11.50), and a $22 battery-powered item for men known as Jelly Julie ("with soft jelly silicone lips").

"Our products are not obscene,'' Davis said. "All we're trying to do is help people build loving relationships.''

Webb suspects she got in trouble because she ruffled feathers in town by daring to join the Chamber of Commerce with her sex toy business. She said her arrest had caused her husband of 20 years to suffer a nervous breakdown.

Webb said she was amazed that the town's narcotics squad would be put on the case.

"We have a real problem with drugs in our schools,'' she said, "and they're using our narcotics officers to entrap me for selling a Vibrator."

Okay, one more…

On May 4 the Lubbock Texas P.D. busted the Something Sexy lingerie shop
for selling dildos. Kinda interesting the place we think of as the "Old West"
is saddled with laws against getting drunk in a bar, Bingo gambling, and selling
dildos. While "W" was governor of Texas he signed in to law a bill making
"Obscene Lyrics" illegal in Texas. You can't even cuss about being fucked
out of your First amendment rights in Texas. I have friends in Texas that I'm
trying to persuade to defect to states like mine. You can buy and sell all the
dildos you want, you can give the Indians as much of your money you want
at the casino, you can get drunk in a bar as long as you don't drive. In
Washington State we don't make a habit of executing retards either.

So Texans if you’re tired of living in The Morality Police State of Texas come
on up to Washington we have very liberal gun laws to boot. We'd love to
have you.

Road trip anyone?

Barry Eisler's New Book

I know Barry Eisler has read some of the material posted on my sites, so this blog will be listed under “Meet My Readers.”

Ironically, he has found an ardent admirer of his work, not the other way around. I have been known to drop by habitually on his websites: reading incessantly and leaving comments.

Requiem for an Assassin, out on May 22^nd of this year, became the newest addition to the thriller series about the freelance assassin, John Rain. On the inside cover, of his book, you will read:

“A tour de force from Barry Eisler, whose novels ‘combine the insouciance of Ian Fleming, the realistic detail of Tom Clancy, the ennui of Graham Greene and the prose power of John le Carre.’     ~ News-Press   Fort Myers, Florida”

“Hunted and finally cornered, John Rain faces his deadliest enemy ever: himself.”

On the inside back cover:

“BARRY EISLER spent three years in a covert position with CIA’s Directorate of Operations. After leaving the CIA he lived and worked in Japan, where he earned his black belt from the Kodokan International Judo Center. The John Rain novels – The Last Assassin, Killing Rain, Rain Storm, Hard Rain, and Rain Fall – have won the Barry and Gumshoe Awards; have translated into nearly twenty languages and have been optioned for film by Barrie Osborne, Oscar-winning producer of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.”

Now’s your chance, to join the many fans who have enjoyed the John Rain epics by visiting Barry’s site and maybe even meeting him face-to-face at a book signings this year.

And as for you Green Hell fans, our illustrious swearblogger  can be found on page 355 under the “Acknowledgements”.

A Tribute For Someone Special in Kentucky

There are scores of legendary explorers, pioneers, and frontiersmen that called this state home. Among them are:

Judge Roy Bean

Daniel Boone

James Bowie

Kit Carson

Kentucky is abounding with talent that originated within her borders: People such as Johnny Depp, George Clooney, and John Carpenter. Hell, even John T. Thompson, inventor of the “Tommygun” machine gun, and Mary Todd, Abraham Lincoln’s wife, were born there. Rich in traditions, history, and beauty this state can be considered one of the finest in the US.

My favorite feature of Kentucky, however, is that it is where the “Angry Other Guy (AOG)” calls home. First and foremost as a friend, second as a reader, this man has managed to amaze me with his insights, knowledge, anger, truths, and most all his friendship.

Rare in my life, and I’m sure yours as well, are people that will stand by your side during the most trying of times. He has for me. With his honesty and unfailing “to the point” mannerism, he was a source of strength during one of my weakest periods.

He writes this about himself on his website:

“I have traveled the globe and lived or had prolonged visits to every state east of the Mississippi, not to mention the three states on the west coast. I have five children who were born in three different states. I live in Kentucky and I want to form the angry alliance. Things that piss you off. People, places, things...etc. This is a forum to share your anger with others.”

And anger is what you hear there. But, don’t be fooled – there is so much more to AOG than meets the eye. For some reason, he has allowed me to see another side of his makeup. A side just as powerful, just as feverous and candid, as it’s counterpart.

In one of his very first messages to me, he sent a copy of what he had written to someone I cared about. He quotes me from a blog he read:

“All kidding aside, I have come to realize in a very short period of time that should you be privileged enough to be included in ‘his world’ of designated friends, count yourself a very lucky individual. People like this do not come along but once in a lifetime!”

Then adds his message:

“A lovely quote from the bedazzling Maggie about you. What a stirring testimonial…”

But, this was only the beginning for me. I look forward to all our talks, to all his insights. Here are a couple that pulled me through a very rough time (omitting most of the detail meant only for me):

“Having grown up with Scots/Irish and being one myself I can tell you that they are extremely temperamental and hyper sensitive.”

“Example:
My friend Mandy went through a bout with a boyfriend who she had to eventually get rid of because he was constantly bringing some sort of crisis to the relationship. I suggested that, he may be frightened by the whole concept of "Relationship" and some of us define ourselves by weird things like "Single Man". We fear that if we lose this part of our life definition that this somehow will cause us to change.... and maybe not for the better. It would be like finding out the man who raised you wasn't really your father after all and you lose part of what defines you. Sometimes men will bring drama because they want to assert themselves to satisfy the inner alpha male. Sometimes men get hurt by something because it hit a little to close to the mark. Too close for comfort. The male ego is a very fragile thing and can be shattered easily. The bigger the ego, the more brittle and thin it is.”

AOG, thank you for your friendship and thank you for always being there. It has meant more to me than you will ever know; more than my words could ever express.

Forty-eight Year Old Libertarian

This reader has become a friend. Even that word doesn’t seem to award an accurate title due him for being in my life. He’s been my confidante, my buddy, my comrade, my companion, even my ally.

Already, he has stood by my side during a very difficult time. He has taken my pains to heart and has been right there beside me “sword in hand!” Hopefully, my undying affection and friendship will shelter him down all the roads we take together in these crazy lives we lead.

He hails from Chicago, Illinois: The Windy City. This seems appropriate for Wayne. However, he might be better described as a gale, a squall, a tornado, or a storm at times. As you read what follows, you’ll get some idea of what I mean. Never underestimate this man, no matter what the topic, you might find yourself inflicted with the typical “foot in mouth” syndrome and/or find yourself removing your foot from many other bodily orifices.

Here is an example of his ranting. I have read each and every thought he has had since our first meeting and have not disagreed with one yet! Don’t worry, Wayne, I’m sure the time will come.

Here I am again for what, the third time this week?

What can I say; the electric shocks are helping.

Well we got a little more info on Killer Joe (hey that rhymes!)

Seems like old Joe was stalking female students, had set a dorm room on fire and that the plays he wrote were somewhat "disturbing"

Loner, unresponsive to others, and had stopped taking his meds.

Oooh boy.

And was a resident alien, whatever the hell that means.

But I'm rather certain that it doesn’t mean US citizen.

So who the hell sold him guns if he isn’t a citizen?

He had the receipt in a backpack.

And guns, oh mama!

The news is having a field day with that one.

Showing all kinds of firearms, Beretta 92F,Colt 1911 and all described as "being the kind used in this tragedy.

Uh, no, sorry, but no.

KJ had a Glock 9mm and some brand of 22.

Neither of those weapons looks like the ones I listed.

Okay so it was "use file film of scary looking guns for the purpose of disinformation" time.

Nothing new there , right kids?

And all types are on the news telling us in urgent tones that it is because of firearms that this tragedy happened.

Some goon from 'Handguns Are Icky" or some such was on the tube telling us that "handguns today are much more powerful than in the past"

Uh, what "past" Mr. Wizard?

Actually the 45 auto, the 357 magnum and 44 magnum were all developed quite a while back, the 45 damn near 100 years ago!

And just what "new" handguns are "more powerful" today in comparison?

Apparently he couldn't be bothered to make that distinction and besides he already gave us the scary part right?

And also we are being told that this is the worst school killing in Us history.

Then BINGO, two minutes later another paragon of truth tells us that the worst school killing took place in 1927 in Michigan when a pissed off School board member set off a bomb in school. killing 44.

So which one is it?

And, Da Mayor again.

I swear to God that son of a bitch reminds me of Porky Pig, except I like Porky Pig.

'Guns are terrib, are frighte, are scary, be dee, be dee, be dee, that’s all folks!"

Even kinda looks like PP too.

So I see our duty as Americans clearly and without a doubt.

A ban.

That’s right, you heard me, a ban.

A ban to stop these terrible things from wreaking havoc upon our society, a ban to ensure that we never have to worry about this type of horror from ever occurring again.

A ban on Koreans.

Kick out all the ones who are here now and never, ever allow another one in this country again.

What’s that?

Its not right to punish ALL Koreans because of the actions of just one?

But if we get rid of all of them no one will ever have bad thoughts again and everything will be peachy keen.

But its ok to ban firearms and punish all Americans because of the actions of just one person?

Because that’s what a ban would do, punish everyone because of the deeds of a few goofballs who have anger management problems.

Let me tell you a little story to illustrate how I feel about such things.

Way back when dinosaurs roamed the earth I was in grade school.

Yep, li'l Wayne (or as my childhood chums had nicknamed me "run, oh God run, its him!") being taught the straight and narrow by the good sisters.

One of whom found a candy wrapper on the floor and since such things were verboten, asked to whom it belonged.

Since she received no replies beyond 'I dunno" she said that we would all stay after school till someone fessed up.

It was a lovely spring day, one where 11 year old boys should be out having fun and raising hell, not sitting in the gulag.

So after about 10 minutes of this nonsense I stood up and walked for the door.

This of course alarmed the good sister considerably and she made to intercept me, demanding "And just where do you think YOU'RE going Mr. Baker? Sit down now!"

And as best as I can remember my reply was "I didn’t do it so I'm not sitting here. You can't punish us all for what one guy did. If you want to tell my ma, go ahead, but she'll punish me, not you"

And out the door I went.

Nothing ever came of it and that’s how I feel about being punished for the wrongs of others.

So anyway, this asshole shot 32 people.

The death toll is 33 because he shot himself as well, but I don’t consider him a people.

And firearms are used over one million times a year by the law abiding to defend themselves and others, as well as their property.

So lets say only a quarter of those are used in a case where if the firearm were not present, the citizen would be riding a slab down at the morgue.

I'd say 250,000 lives a year is a pretty damn good reason for citizens to be armed.

New Zealand Bound

Most of you are probably familiar with New Zealand from the trilogy, "Lord of the Rings." As the main filming location for these films, director Peter Jackson employed over 15,000 of his countrymen as extras and over 2000 Kiwis for crewmembers.

Others may have been fortunate enough to see its glacial mountains, flowing rivers, clear lakes,hissing geysers and boiling mud. Its spectacular landscapes consist of rich, native forests; long, deserted beaches; and a variety of flora and fauna.

Some may even consider the focal point of this astounding countryside the 8310ft dormant volcano,Taranaki, which dominates the surrounding region. Not I! For all the glory and splendor that is seen in movies, documentaries, and the like, or read in books and historical records, one thing stands out among all else for me. Nestled among this spectacular scenery is the home of a fellow author and avid reader of my site. At first, plucked from another author’s site, our comments to one another were humorous, respectful, and enlightening. It didn’t take long to realize there was much more to this woman than meets the eye (or the written word). In the short amount of time we have known each other, she has been my sounding board, my critic, my companion and most of all, my friend. She has shared and shown me how to laugh at life, love, and myself. Her constant strength was felt through one of the most difficult moments I’ve had to face in many years. Saying a mere "thank you" would not begin to convey my deep admiration, my ongoing affection and heartfelt appreciation for this woman's presence in my life.

Ready to meet this amazing individual?

Cat Connor is the author of the forthcoming thriller novel, Killerbyte. She is currently working on a sequel, and is co-writing a historical novel with American "swearblogger" David Bean.

Green Hell

If I were to list things by manner of importance on my site anywhere, this reader would take precedence every time. Our first conversation was actually an argument. He disagreed with one of my blogs and had reared his exigent opinion by painting me a very vivid picture of it. I know why this man came to my site and how, but still, all else is shrouded with mystery. Since that day, I have added many new friends and readers to both my web sites. I owe him for an overwhelming amount of them. He believed (and believes) enough in my work to not only read and comment on all things posted, but has worked by my side to create new avenues and new ideas for it!

Rather than give an example of his comments, I have chosen instead to give you a small glimpse of what’s it’s like to attempt the “match your wits” game with this one. Very affectionately, I introduce you to Green Hell:

“Cloying. Acrid. Eye-watering. So thick one could choke upon it.

I'm not referring only to the scent of burning martyr when mention that something's getting thick around here. Put up yer feet, pour yerself a shot, and light a cheroot, gentle reader. Ol' Bean's got a story to tell, and once again, it seems he's the villain. Guess wearin' all that black is finally starting to have an effect on me. Why, this very morning, I was seized by the urge to raise a gang of hooligans for the purpose of forcing people to sell the deeds to their land for next-to-nothing, and to tie several of the most pulchritudinous specimens of female virtue I could find to the nearest set of railroad tracks.

And then along came Jones. Too bad he's not as fast on the draw as I.

Not content with this level of villainy, I blew the smoke from the barrel of my weapon, holstered it, bent my knees, hunched my shoulders, and rubbed my hands together, grinning and chuckling with a degree of demonic glee that would shame Snidely Whiplash into taking a refresher course at the Paul Wolfowitz School of Moral Bankruptcy.

Got yer interest? Good. More to come.”

Indeed, want more? His website’s link is on my main page or you can select or cut and paste: www.mygreenhell.typepad.com

But fair warning, dear readers; load both your barrels as you enter. All things through that door are as dangerous, as guileless and as mystifying as the man who writes them. Even his recipes have a “flavor” all their own!

My "one" aspiration is that this man’s presence is felt in all my work for many years to come.

Clear Blue Sea

As a writer, my dreams and aspirations revolve around being heard. Whether my words affect “the one” or “the many” has no bearing on these ambitions. One reader is all it takes to make every word you’ve written worth the long, grueling hours spent putting them to paper.

One of the messages I received inspired me to generate a new category on this site; Meet My Readers. So many readers touch me with their feedback, that it only seems fit to pay them homage from time to time. As I do so, you will be able to come to this category and look them up or select their websites from my main page (if they have established one).

Though today’s reader is a new one, he has managed to awe and humble me with his sentiments! This merits an opening placement in this new frontier of mine. Meet “Clear Blue Sea”:

"Your writing has captivated me. Every time I try to respond I find something else you have written and move along anticipating what you will say next...I [have noticed] that you talk [of] your husband of [fourteen] years deciding to leave, forsaking vows and family and moving on to whatever he moved on to. I don’t think he left but instead released you. Realizing that holding you in his little world was like keeping a prophet in prison. Maggie, I suppose that would be against the wishes of God himself…thanks for writing!"

This is only a portion of the message that I received, but enough for you to see that this person’s response to my writing means that I have indeed reached that “one person”. He is a symbol of my having realized my one vision as a writer, and having successfully followed my muse.

The following is a little blurb he wrote about himself:

Born on Nov 28th 1967, the day the ancients deemed the day of the wolf for star watchers and fortunetellers, we can discuss this more on the next full moon. My philosophy is that I am not insane, I am a Lunatic, there is a difference ...as we go...if we should actually meet please don't wear that perfume that smells like a steakhouse, man it drives me silly.

I welcome him to “my world” and my writings with open arms. Hopefully, this is the beginning a very long and mutually inspiring relationship!

I leave you with one of his quotes for the day:

“Do just once what others say you can't do and you will never pay attention to their limitations again.” ~ James R. Cook

WORDS TO LIVE BY!